Top 9 Books of 2021 & New Year Reading Goals

I measure my life in pages read. I remember reading Carry On while home with my newborn twins, reawakening my love for the chosen one’s tale that Harry Potter once ignited; I remember reading Catcher in the Rye during a rough time in high school and falling in love with a voice; I was in the midst of consuming Dracula as I was defending my graduate thesis.

Instead of measuring my life in pages read, this year I completely escaped into books to avoid all negativity. Which means 2021 had a lot of comfort rereads (8 total), but it was also packed with many great new reads. Given the majority of my ratings were 5 stars, I know I am getting better at pursuing the books I will love. And if I didn’t love it, I didn’t beat myself up about dropping it like a hot potato (In the House Upon the Dirt Between the Lake in the Woods and surprisingly, One Last Stop).

The first book of 2021 feels like a millennium ago. Just what the eff happened to this year? And The Year That Shall Not Be Named for that matter. Given this strange liminal space our world is in right now, it’s time for some romance recommendations.

So the first amazing romance read (arguably a romantic sci-fi) that blew me away was Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell. I did a FULL post on this treasure of a reading experience here. Tl;dr: The world-building was flawlessly immersive and the political intrigue was deeply human and threaded so well into the love story. I keep this book pressed inside my trench coat and push it into anyone’s face who passes–not really, as I listened to it on audio, which I also highly recommend. If you submit your receipt for a purchase of the paperback to fan artist, graphic novelist, and author Vanessa Kelley prior to 1/31/22 you get her GORGEOUS fanart *drools*

This takes me right into The Darkness Outside Of Us because Winter’s Orbit gave me a fever, and the only prescription was more m/m space opera (props if you get that Walken reference). The Darkness Outside of Us was a little more intimate and psychological and a lot darker, but just as sweeping. I ADORED the audio narrator and compulsively spoke in Kodiak’s accent for at least two weeks to show my love and devotion to James Fouhey. Because, you know, I do my part to support the arts.

MOAR romance:

Cochrun’s romantic comedy was the very definition of what you’re looking for when you bust out your finest rosé (or Belgian white, we don’t judge here) and you have the next 48 hours responsibility-free. This sweet book had the added bonus of being very relevant to our does-art-imitate-life-or-life-imitate-reality-tv world. It also handled mental illness with so much grace and empathy. I was utterly besotted with this love story.

This graphic novel was like a warm blueberry scone with bright notes of lemon zest in the trash fire continuation of the 2020-2021 period. It was sweet, inventive, heartfelt, and hilarious. I adored every second of it, even the hockey scenes to which I was completely ignorant. I have no IDEA how on this green earth Ukazu kept all of this in her head–the art, the storyline, the sports and college aspect. Just wow. To top it off, I just realized that one of my favorite author’s wrote the blurb, so yep. I was bound to love it.

This book was a time capsule. It transported the all-consuming experience of reading fantasy as a teen to me as a grown ass adult. It has the YA capital EFF Feels, the main character that ages as the story progresses (sometimes referred to as a bildungsroman–one of my favorite structures!), a bad ass gender-subversive elfin heroine (I mean, if you aren’t already walking out your door and heading to your local bookstore or library after reading that, then I don’t know what else I can say), and an engaging, richly crafted world.

Can you even with that cover?! Nope. No, you can’t.

I loved this novel so much. It flirted with every gothic romance that has thorned its way into my barren chest cavity while simultaneously delivering a fresh, modern take on the horror genre. I am all about mood and atmosphere and Moreno-Garcia delivered both by the haunted estate-load.

Okay, it’s becoming apparent that I absolutely do judge books and their potential to light all my happy centers in my brain by their covers. But hey, hasn’t let me down thus far

Look, I think all you need to know about this one is that it inspired me to write an embarrassing gushing fan letter. Could you just go ahead and burn that, Lee? Thaaaaanks….

In all honesty, I fell so deep into this narrative, I had no idea when I might ever come out and nor did I care. It was beautifully done, grief-felt, stomach-swoopingly surprising, and gasoline charged. And I would do it all over again.

This candy-coated contemporary gem held me in a chokehold for over a month. Another bildungsroman, this novel is exactly the kind of novel you read and wish you had thought of and had the barest talent to execute. I, I mean. I wish I had thought of it and had a sliver of Boyne’s talent with which to execute even a facsimile. Dios mio, I needed a stiff drink and an actual hug from someone who wasn’t simultaneously stabbing me with a salad fork in the back after (and while) reading this. Seriously though, will read again when my inward bleeding resolves.

You only come across a talent like Khorram’s–so like a finely crafted arrow with which to pierce what you thought was your dead heart–once in a lifetime. That arrow is his ability to resurrect the angst, fears, and hopes of my teenage years. Every YA author should aspire to this greatness; we plebs could all only hope to be so wise and timeless in our harrowing tales of youth.

Honorable Mentions

+A Man Called Ove (contemporary) by Fredrik Backman

+Any and all Emily Henry (all hail the queen of rom com). Fight me. I laughed so hard reading a part from People We Meet on Vacation to my spouse I legit almost died.

+The Witch Elm (mystery) by Tana French

So yeah…next time someone asks what kind of books I like to read and I’m like ‘everything’ and they’re like *suspicious face* I will just refer them to this list.

New Year Reading Goals

You may be asking what I could possibly hope to improve upon in the upcoming year after these phenomenal 2021 reads. I gotta say, I’m pretty happy with my 50 book goal. It’s nice meeting my Goodreads goal while being completely doable with my other obligations like reading copious fanfic and binging Star Trek Discovery. But truly, I hope to be a bit more creatively productive in 2022 than I was this year, so 50 is a comfortable standard with which to hold myself.

Something that is becoming increasingly important to me is reading widely as a writer studying craft, yes, but even more than that, reading for enjoyment. If I am not enjoying a book, I will have zero qualms about dropping it.

What are your 2022 reading goals? Do you hope to read more than you got to this year? Or are you focusing more on quality than quantity?

A State of Gratitude

“Gratitude is a powerful emotion to use for manifesting because normally we feel gratitude after we receive something. So the emotional signature of gratitude means it has already happened.”

Dr. Joe Dispenza

And maintaining a state of gratitude creates an environment conducive to receiving what you want, because energy takes the path of least resistance. It’s science (😏).

I am grateful.

I am grateful for the warmth of my children in my arms, dense with blood and breath and bone–solid, squeezable, kissable. I am grateful for their cough and my gritty eyes from being kept awake by their cold, because it means their bodies are strong enough to fight to keep them healthy. I am grateful for soft and swelling music and lyrics that bring tears to my eyes. I am grateful for the turn of summer to fall at night and the wind whispering through the trees. I am grateful for the cold sip of a beer, the hot sip of black coffee, and the cool sip of clean water. I am grateful for the look of understanding–almost telepathic in nature–shared with my partner over the heads of our children. I am grateful for light falling through the shades, striated and languid–the sun has yet to die; we get to have another day. I am grateful for snuggly cats seeking me out in quiet moments (it’s pretty much guaranteed that if you have cats and lay down with a book, a cat will manifest on your chest). I am grateful for the soreness of muscles that have worked hard and dry, worn hands–a working creator’s hands.

I am grateful for the books I can get cozy with and lost in (The Heart’s Invisible Furies and The Darkness Outside Us right now). I’m grateful for the movies and shows that fill up my well, for the memories of my father that come to me when I watch Star Trek: Next Generation–he was a sci-fi and fantasy geek like I am now, and I never realized that before. I am grateful to keep finding books and film and art and music to enjoy because it means the hunger inside of me is infinite. And it means the hunger inside others is infinite. And it means that I will never run out of experiences that let me feel connected to other human beings and their voices and stories.

I am grateful for the people giving me the opportunity to work with them and the venues who have published and will publish my own attempts to connect with other humans. The Grey Rooms Podcast accepted my first short story (twenty drafts later, mind you), and I will get to hear that story being given life.

I am grateful for the girl who used to come home from working two and three jobs while going to school full time to burn the midnight oil writing crappy stories. For the person who continues writing with a demanding day job and two 5-year-olds. The stories are still crappy sometimes, but I am grateful for them, grateful for the passion and my patience to continue working with them, to mold each story into its final form.

I am grateful for the story I am molding right now.

Bonesetting

For years, she will lie awake and tell herself stories of the girl she’d been, in hopes of holding fast to every fleeting fragment, but it will have the opposite effect–the memories like talismans, too often touched; like saint’s coins, the etching worn down to silver plate and faint impressions.”

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by VE Schwab

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It’s difficult to find moments that reassure me of writing as my path. Especially, when most of the work is toiling away alone–as my fellow writing kind know–private achievements like meeting a word count for the day or finally finishing revisions on a certain chapter, or the snatches of paragraphs and sometimes only lines or words I fit in in 20 minute increments (how most of my raw words are drafted). But there is a recognition and sense of achievement and belonging I feel at having something published. Though I wouldn’t consider myself a poet more than just a writer, that achievement after twisting and molding words, phrases, concepts into something that reaches into another human being’s chest is so vital to a creator who works with words.

So it is pride and great pleasure that I get to say my sixth poetry publication is appearing in Months to Years now. My poem Bonesetting is so very close to my heart.

You can read it at Months to Years, a literary venue publishing works on grief, by clicking the lovely pitch perfect image below:

Photo Credit: Months To Years

This poem, specifically the final lines, was a revelation. It unveiled to me the purpose and inherent movement of poetry: write to discover. If someone had asked me, I wouldn’t have been able to articulate this feeling about my father’s death getting farther away from me after creating life. But when I sat with this strange, tender idea long enough, it formed itself into Bonesetting. I hope you enjoy it.

Winter’s Orbit Review: A Cornucopia of Bliss

Winter’s Obrit | Everina Maxwell | Published by Tor | Date Released: 2/2/21

One match can light up an empire? No. One match can light up the desiccated husk of my soul after reading this.

Let’s see. What can I say about Winter’s Orbit? Well, it turns out…quite a bit.

I felt inexplicably drawn to this book. Could it have been the drop dead gorgeous cover? Or maybe the promise of a m/m royal marriage arrangement set in SPACE? Or perhaps the hint that the novel was heavier on the romance than the sci-fi–the latter of which I am an admittedly poor study. Regardless, I did dive in with some doubt that it would be for me. I am usually drawn to more character-driven fiction, while this synopsis promised political intrigue at every turn (and boy did it deliver). But it delivered the political machinery in such a way that made it engaging for even the likes of me.

So what’s this gorgeous piece of space romance and interplanetary politics about?

Let’s turn it over to Goodreads, because I am abysmally bad at synopses:

While the Iskat Empire has long dominated the system through treaties and political alliances, several planets, including Thea, have begun to chafe under Iskat’s rule. When tragedy befalls Imperial Prince Taam, his Thean widower, Jainan, is rushed into an arranged marriage with Taam’s cousin, the disreputable Kiem, in a bid to keep the rising hostilities between the two worlds under control.

But when it comes to light that Prince Taam’s death may not have been an accident, and that Jainan himself may be a suspect, the unlikely pair must overcome their misgivings and learn to trust one another as they navigate the perils of the Iskat court, try to solve a murder, and prevent an interplanetary war… all while dealing with their growing feelings for each other.

When I realized I could get my mitts on this new release with my Audible credit, excitement mounted.  I began my listening for a quick diversion while doing other things, doubtful that I could become as emotionally invested in a sci-fi novel as I am in my usual genre haunts.

“Well, someone has to marry the man.”

…is how this lovely courtship begins. What I mean, is my courtship with this book. At first I was intimidated by the erudite British accent of the narrator, Raphael Corkhill, but was quickly won over by his talent at depicting the counterpoint of Kiem’s goofy charm to Jainan’s stoic practicality, and the dynamic between these two against the tense political landscape. Given that I am not a reader of much sci-fi, the last being The Need—does that count as sci-fi?—and before that, Annihilation (both excellent), I adored that the tech was so seamlessly integrated without clunky, overwhelming explanations, but rather just enough to pique my interest.

The plot deliciously gains traction the deeper in you get. I cannot help but be intimidated by multi-threaded plots of political intrigue like this (see also my review on Six of Crows in a discussion of e-books vs books), but it is truly a testament to Maxwell’s storytelling savvy that I was able to follow along just fine and quite enjoy the ride. Maxwell’s prose was clean and elegant, with incisive metaphor and simile, blessedly void of the overly wrought exposition I feared going into this genre. Bonus: the novel demonstrated pitch perfect use of gender pronouns for the story with the lovely and logical freedom of beings in Maxwell’s universe to choose their expression via glass (nonbinary), wood (male), or flint (female) ornaments.

Things Winter’s Orbit delivers via gut punch after gut punch: tension, layered plot, psychological acuity, as shown in Kiem’s growth from the self-depreciating charismatic reformed party boy royal and Jainan’s struggle with being cut off from his clan and planet as the Thean diplomat, not to mention–well, rather than spoil anything for you, let me just leave you with this juicy morsel:

“Pain had its uses, Jainan thought. It put things in perspective. There was something clean about the way it cut through the emotional tangles and reminded you that things could be worse.”

But the main winning aspect in a cornucopia of bliss is the tentative, budding romance between Kiem and Jainan, rife with all the fanfic tropes you’re dying for–bed sharing, arranged marriage, misunderstanding–executed so beautifully and so naturally. Remember that strangers-to-friends-to-lovers I said I was expecting with Boyfriend Material in my last post? Winter’s Orbit was exactly this. This book gives an entire new perspective to the slow burn trope. These two orbit one another, learning each other’s nuances so gradually, it is like watching two people realize that by a fortuitous turn of events, they have been married to the exact person made just for them. I was moved to tears at one point just by this unfurling romance, like a flower opening at the first lick of the sun’s warmth (I was also 2 glasses of wine in by that time, but the point stands).

Regarding the format in which I consumed this

I feel that there is a big difference between experiencing a book on audio versus reading it. Some books present better in audio format, for me at least. I have no idea if this is one of those books, because audio is the only way I’ve experienced it and want to re-experience it in the future. It must be said here that the Corkhill did such a brilliant job of portraying both Kiem and Jainan, their distinct voices were sounding in my head with crystalline clarity for days after I finished the novel. Also, audio books are versatile. You can listen to this book: in bed, working out, at work, in the car, while doing mindless tasks, while imbibing, while staring into the middle distance, wondering how you got to this place in your life where you wished you had a therapist just so you could talk about all the Feelings this book awoke in the cobwebbed annals of your heart…

Verdict?

If you’ve been sitting on an Audible credit, I say make it rain on Winter’s Orbit.

6 Best Books of 2020

I seem to have recurrent amnesia for how much I love writing about books I’ve read. Since I’ve been in a bit of a dry spell regarding my fiction, please excuse me while I belatedly celebrate my 2020 reads.

I should amend the title of this post to the 6 best books I read in the year of 2020, not the 6 best books of 2020. Most of my favorite reads were backlist, but I am also reviewing 7 2020 releases, with some, ahem, possibly controversial opinions.

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**Look out for my upcoming reviews on these 2021 releases: One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston, This Close to Okay by Leesa Cross-Smith, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab, and Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell. I have much to say.**

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2020 Releases I Read

In a Holidaze (Romantic comedy) by Christina Lauren

Release date: October 6, 2020

A cozy Christmas romance a la Groundhog day. Christina Lauren has done it again. Initially, I was not interested in reading this 2020 CLo release because of the gimmicky/holiday wrapping, but I did and I don’t regret it one bit. I snuggled so deep in the found family and friends-to-lovers tropes that I was blissfully lost in its cozy folds for the six hours it took to consume this piece of transportable Christmas spirit.

Memorial (Contemporary) by Bryan Washington

Release date: October 27, 2020

When I was writing my graduate thesis on Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian, there was a quote I kept coming back to:

“In the neuter austerity of that terrain all phenomena were bequeathed a strange equality and no one thing nor spider nor stone nor blade of grass could put forth claim to precedence…in the optical democracy of such landscapes all preference is made whimsical and a man and a rock become endowed with unguessed kinship.”

All this to say, Washington bequeaths his characters and their every moment, triumphant or tragic, with an optical democracy. Each horrific reality is given no more or less weight than any beautiful revelation. This works to elevate the beauty of the work as a whole. I was not expecting what I got with Memorial, which is neither good nor bad. It is exactly what it is, which is kind of what it felt like Washington was trying to say.

A Deadly Education (Fantasy) by Naomi Novik

Release date: September 29, 2020

You know I had to review my girl Novik’s newest–a lush original take on the magic school genre where the school is…well, essentially trying to devour the students. After Uprooted and Spinning Silver, Novik can do no wrong with me. A Deadly Education throws you into some heavy world-building right off the bat, which settles comfortably into place as the plot gains speed. The characters totally slap. And the promise of budding, forbidden romance in the next book of the trilogy sweetens the deal of course.

Loveless (YA) by Alice Oseman

Release date: April 30, 2020

I did not particularly care for this book, which surprised me given how much I adore Heartstopper, I Was Born For This, and Radio Silence. I am not entirely sure whether the  opinion I walked away with was mostly due to seeing Oseman’s struggle so hard with creating this novel on social media. I’m not saying artists shouldn’t be transparent about creation or illuminate how hard the process can be, but I feel as though seeing her suffering regarding this book may have made me see all the faults with it. Despite its faults, the characters were thoroughly filled in, and the dynamic between Rooney and Pip was FIRE–peak sapphic sexual tension.

Boyfriend Material (Romance) by Alexis Hall

Release date: July 7, 2020

This was 2020’s sweetheart release, a cuddly romance we all desperately needed. I loved these two characters. Mostly Oliver if I’m being honest, but to be fair, Luc is a self-admitted berk. This story was just the right timbre of sweet for which I was aching. The build-up of the romance and the construction of the characters’ lives—mostly Luc’s, with his work mates and group of friends, was spot on and hilarious.

But sometimes you read a book and it’s not at all what you thought it would be from the blurb. Boyfriend Material was this for me, which was partly a good thing and partly a teensy bit disappointing, only because it wasn’t exactly what I was looking for. From the premise, I expected a strangers-to-friends-to-lovers scenario in which there was a painful slow burn saturated in miscommunication. And *there was all of this*, but because these characters Arc and Grow, they reveal their hands a lot sooner than I expected. They play off of this place of mutually acknowledged interest in being more than fake boyfriends from almost the halfway point in the book. Which was actually refreshing for the genre, rather than the story’s tension riding on the MCs’ complete ignorance of each other’s feelings.

…Let’s talk about the sex.

Wait. There wasn’t any, aside from the slow fade out before anything really happens (You know what I’m talking about). Let me be clear; I am not decrying this book over its woeful lack of sex. I was merely caught off guard after the other five Alexis Hall books I had read. 

Thank you NetGalley for an Advanced Review Copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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Without further ado, here are my

 

6 Best Books of 2020

Piranesi (Fantasy) by Susanna Clark

Release date: September 15, 2020

Synopsis

Piranesi’s house is no ordinary building: its rooms are infinite, its corridors endless, its walls are lined with thousands upon thousands of statues, each one different from all the others. Within the labyrinth of halls an ocean is imprisoned; waves thunder up staircases, rooms are flooded in an instant. But Piranesi is not afraid; he understands the tides as he understands the pattern of the labyrinth itself. He lives to explore the house.

There is one other person in the house—a man called The Other, who visits Piranesi twice a week and asks for help with research into A Great and Secret Knowledge. But as Piranesi explores, evidence emerges of another person, and a terrible truth begins to unravel, revealing a world beyond the one Piranesi has always known.

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Piranesi is a labyrinth of a tale, breathtaking in scope, told by a heartbreakingly human narrator.

A fantasy to give you the exact feeling you’re hoping to find when delving into a fantasy read. At least that’s what it was for me. This was my first foray into Susanna Clarke, and I can say with supreme confidence that I will be giving her other work a read very soon.

 

The Goldfinch (Contemporary) by Donna Tartt

Release date: October 22, 2013  

synopsis

After losing his mother in a horrific bombing, Theo Decker embarks on an urgent odyssey through survival, love, and far too many goodbyes. Tartt presents us with a modern day bildungsroman that destroys and rebuilds in equal strokes.

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God, this book. A book about art and humanity that Tartt says began with the intertwining of a dark New York and dark Amsterdam mood, and I *clap* was *clap* here for it. Definitely one of my all time favorites. Others have decried this book for its wanderings, but I loved every single word of its 771 pages. I basically got my master’s in English–not to intelligently discuss moving literature, no–but to ecstatically absorb and find myself muted in the face of their greatness. For me, The Goldfinch rivals The Secret History. 

“Caring too much for objects can destroy you.”

Yes, Ms. Tartt. It certainly can, as I am writing this from the grave.

 

The Queen of Nothing (Fantasy) by Holly Black

Release date: November 19, 2019

I don’t want to put the synopsis here for anyone who has not yet read the first two books, but let’s just say this was the close of a expertly woven, completely transporting trilogy, in my humble opinion. It is important to note that I’ve put the Barnes & Noble Exclusive Edition here, and with good reason. *Whispers* It includes the letters Cardan wrote to Jude while she was in the mortal world, drowning in feels.

All hail the queen of faerie, Holly Black. That is all. 

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We Contain Multitudes (YA) by Sarah Henstra

Release date: May 14, 2019

synopsis

Jonathan Hopkirk and Adam “Kurl” Kurlansky are partnered in English class, writing letters to one another in a weekly pen pal assignment. With each letter, the two begin to develop a friendship that eventually grows into love. But with homophobia, bullying, and devastating family secrets, Jonathan and Kurl struggle to overcome their conflicts and hold onto their relationship…and each other.

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Look, I didn’t even know what to do with myself while listening to this book. Stunning. Heavy. Shattering. Euphoric. I listened to it on audio (a few times), which might bias my experience here, because the voice actors were legit phenomenal, and so real, and it just felt so tender and devastating hearing them right in my ear. 

I’ll Give You The Sun (YA) by Jandy Nelson

Release date: September 16, 2014

synopsis

At first, Jude and her twin brother Noah, are inseparable. Noah draws constantly and is falling in love with the charismatic boy next door, while daredevil Jude wears red-red lipstick, cliff-dives, and does all the talking for both of them.

Years later, they are barely speaking. Something has happened to change the twins in different yet equally devastating ways… but then Jude meets an intriguing, irresistible boy and a mysterious new mentor. The early years are Noah’s to tell; the later years are Jude’s. But they each have only half the story, and if they can only find their way back to one another, they’ll have a chance to remake their world.

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Another amazing art book. And romance book.  And sibling book.  And family book. I had no idea this book would beat me up and steal my lunch money, but here we are. If you enjoy experiencing exactly what it feels like to have hearts in your eyes while simultaneously ugly crying, then read this book. 

Radio Silence (YA) by Alice Oseman

Release date: February 5, 2016

synopsis

What if everything you set yourself up to be was wrong?

Frances has been a study machine with one goal. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside. Then Frances meets Aled, and for the first time she’s unafraid to be herself.

So when the fragile trust between them is broken, Frances is caught between who she was and who she longs to be. Now Frances knows that she has to confront her past. To confess why Carys disappeared…

Frances is going to need every bit of courage she has.

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I had to give the Oseman a fair shake. Though I did not enjoy Loveless, I loved this book. Coincidentally, I had concurrently discovered the fictional podcast Welcome to Night Vale, so this book had an extra layer of gravity. The novel was like a blanket to wrap around your heart to cushion it against the feels of friendship and resurgent teenage angst. 

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What do my fellow readers think? Love any of these? Disagree that The Goldfinch rivals The Secret History? Let’s duke it out in the comments discuss.